70 / Could I ever again live in Germany?
This was the question my daughter asked me the other day over coffee in the Strand Arcade.
Hmmm, I had been asked this very question a while ago by my friend Günter, when I was visiting him in Wienhausen.
This is what happened shortly after …
… the two of us were strolling through Celle, a town in Northern Germany, close to where Günter lives. The Special in an Ice Cream Café advertised on a blackboard caught my eye: Three scoops of ice cream for €5 instead of €5,90 and they would include whipped cream for free. Yum, yum. I put my €5 note on the counter and chose my three flavours. So far so good.
Next the shop assistant proceeded to the whipped cream dispenser, and only in the nick of time could I stop her … no, I didn't want cream. Well, if you've ever been to small-town Germany, you probably know the end of the story.
The lady eyed my €5 note on the counter and told me in a stern voice that without the whipped cream it'll cost €5,90 - since it's not the Special anymore! Come again? Was she serious? You bet she was. She got more and more agitated as I argued my case … just leave the whipped cream off, give me my ice cream, take my money and we'll all live happily ever after. No way. The Special came with whipped cream, if I didn't want the whipped cream it was not the Special anymore, and three scoops of ice cream were €5,90. Basta!
I know what you're thinking … of course I could have made my peace with her, accepted the cone with cream on top and probably just swiped it off on the spot, onto her spick and span Ice Cream Café floor!
But bugger me, it was much more satisfying to declare right then and there that, no, I can't go and live in Germany ever again … there's something about Germans that grates (even with a German!) I felt it 40 years ago when I left the joint.
(I swear this story is true - as we all know, life is stranger than fiction! I agree, though, that it sounds familiar - a similar scenario would have been used in a hundred comedy sketches. Originally probably by the Monty Python gang.)
Comment : by Leesa, 17 December 2009
Let me remind you of one more - on the first class train from Copenhagen to Dusseldorf. In the restaurant carriage you ordered scrambled eggs for breakfast. The menu had scrambled eggs with peas - but you requested scrambled eggs without the peas. Your meal came - scrambled eggs with peas. When you pointed the mistake out to the waiter his response came swift and sure, "so, the scrambled eggs come with peas." To which you responded, "yes I know, but I asked for it without peas." The waiter then said ever more sternly, "what do you want me to do, throw your meal out the window?" He didn't wait for your answer. : )